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I’m “biast” (pro): loved the original trilogy…I’m “biast” (con): …but started to thua thảm a little patience with the fourth film(what is this about? see my critic’s minifesto)
Okay, make it stop. This amusement-park ride has gone on long enough. It is no longer any fun. I’m feeling a bit nauseated, in fact.
I adored the original Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy: they were smart, fun popcorn flicks that worked as clever updates on the classic Hollywood swashbuckler, all adventure and movie-movie romance and total, wonderful nonsense. With the third installment, 2007’s At World’s End, the series even managed khổng lồ whip up some satirical zing, in its plot about gig-economy independent-contractor pirates versus big bad corps looking to solidify their rule of the world.
I tolerated 2011’s On Stranger Tides even though there was little fresh or surprising about it, even though Jack Sparrow was no longer shocking, even though it was far too earnest to achieve the fleet fantasy of its predecessors. But it still had hints of what made the original trilogy great. Or maybe that was wishful thinking on my part, a longing for Tides to measure up.
No such luck here. My blinders are off. With this, the uncalled-for fifth chapter in the franchise, Pirates has officially outstayed its welcome. Salazar’s Revenge — inexplicably called Dead Men Tell No Tales in the US — is a cacophony of CGI spectacle that assails the senses but forgets lớn give us a reason khổng lồ care about the people caught in the middle of it. It is desperate for your attention but has no idea what to vày with it when it occasionally grabs it. It is pandemonium, and incredibly boring. It is full of the supernatural, but it has no magic.
“Huh. This tiny diminished black Pearl is a surprisingly apt metaphor…”
This is especially mysterious because POTC 5 avoids one of the signature problems of blockbusters of recent vintage, in that so few of them seem very interested in crafting something new for our eyes to behold when it comes khổng lồ tossing people and vehicles và buildings around in ways that are meant khổng lồ be exciting. A lot of the kích hoạt we witness here isn’t like anything we’ve seen before… và almost none of it actually entertains, like a joke with a great thiết đặt and an unfunny punchline. One early sequence involves a ngân hàng robbery by Jack Sparrow and his crew that goes very badly wrong, & it should be absolutely hilarious in that same way that, say, the A-Team movie made you believe that a tank could fly. And yet it falls completely flat. It’s loud & kinetic & crashy, but it has no pizzazz whatsoever. Directors Joachim Rønning và Espen Sandberg aren’t only new khổng lồ the Pirates series, they’re new to big-budget FX extravaganzas, and it shows. They don’t seem khổng lồ know how to lớn connect their characters lớn the CGI, or even to grand escapades driven by practical FX, as the heist sequence would mostly seem khổng lồ be. (Their biggest previous production is low-budget real-life historical adventure Kon-Tiki, which may take place on the ocean but is very grounded in unfantastical reality.) They closest they get is with a comedic guillotine sequence — that’s right, I said “comedic guillotine sequence” — that makes you wonder if Disney is hoping to turn that into a new theme-park attraction. Which is horrifically wrong & icky.
But lackluster kích hoạt takes a backseat, problemwise, khổng lồ lackluster characters. One big flaw of On Stranger Tides is that Jack Sparrow was missing the Bones và Spock to lớn his Kirk, the Ron & Hermione to his Harry, which he’d previously had in Orlando Bloom’s straight-arrow Will Turner & Keira Knightley’s proper-girl-eager-for-adventure Elizabeth Swan. A bigger flaw in POTC 5 is that the new sidekicks Jack (Johnny Depp: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Alice Through the Looking Glass) gets saddled with are incredibly dull both separately and together. Brenton Thwaites (Gods of Egypt, Son of a Gun) — as Henry Turner, Will’s son — & Kaya Scodelario (Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials, Now Is Good) — as Carina Smyth, woman of science — cốt truyện one expression between them (a slack-jawed, dead-eyed befuddlement), some cringeworthy banter, & a painful lack of chemistry. Their attraction for each other is inevitable even though it’s not required by the plot, và yet constitutes one of the least convincing onscreen romances ever.
“Worse things happen at sea, they said. They were right.”
The plot? Dear god, what a mess. Another problem of the 2010s blockbuster is too much plot, & POTC 5 cannot escape that one. Screenwriters Jeff Nathanson (Tower Heist, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull) and Terry Rossio (The Lone Ranger, National Treasure: Book of Secrets) seem lớn think that more is better, but it’s just more, và in this case, the story’s attempt to find footing is confusing, convoluted, và crammed with too many characters. Jack, Henry, & Carina are all seeking a mythical object called the Trident of Poseidon, which is said khổng lồ break all curses of the sea. Henry needs it to miễn phí his father, who, you recall, was cursed in the third movie, At World’s End, to endless service on the Flying Dutchman. Jack needs it because pirate hunter Captain Salazar (Javier Bardem: The Gunman, The Counsellor) — whom Jack long ago condemned to lớn a sort of zombie-sailorhood — has vowed khổng lồ get his revenge. And Carina needs it because… well, that’s never entirely clear, but it has something to do with “Galileo’s diary,” which she inherited from her unknown scientist father, & which, as an object, seems impossible. (It doesn’t seem as if Galileo could have had anything to vày with it, & as labyrinthine as the plot is, it fails to tài khoản for the diary’s presence here.) & Jack’s old frenemy Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush: Holding the Man, Minions) is also hanging around, for completely unnecessary reasons until a ridiculously contrived reason for him to be present pops up, so he has lớn be shoehorned into the story.
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Not so much anymore, actually…
As torturous as the writing is, it’s also lazy, with abuse passing as wit & coincidence as fate. Worse, it doesn’t even seem to lớn appreciate the balancing act that the previous films managed khổng lồ pull off, in making pirates romantic & heroic & making us forget that in reality, pirates are cowardly brutish criminals. For here, it’s really difficult to lớn accept Salazar as a villain: he is portrayed as an honorable Spanish naval captain whose mission was to lớn clear the seas of the scourge of pirates. Và it’s really difficult khổng lồ accept this latest version of Jack as someone we should feel any sympathy for (and that’s without even taking into trương mục the unpleasant person Depp has recently shown himself lớn be offscreen): Jack is cruel lớn his friends, comes across as stupid rather than cunning, and lacks all the crafty charm he once had. We should be rooting for Salazar, and mostly I was.
One of the trailers for POTC 5 blares that this is “The Final Adventure,” which is as it should be. But no such luck. Pirates of the Caribbean 6 has already been announced. It should be buried at sea immediately.
see also:• Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the đen Pearl (review)• Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (review)• Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s over (review)• Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (review)
Categories 2017 theatrical releases, action, adventure, comedy, fantasy, historical, đánh giá Tags A-Team, Brenton Thwaites, CGI, Disney, Espen Sandberg, Galileo, Geoffrey Rush, Harry Potter, Javier Bardem, Jeff Nathanson, Joachim Ronning, Johnny Depp, Kaya Scodelario, Keira Knightley, Kon-Tiki, Orlando Bloom, Pirates of the Caribbean, Pirates of the Caribbean At World’s End, Pirates of the Caribbean On Stranger Tides, Pirates of the Caribbean Salazar"s Revenge, Star Trek, Terry Rossio
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Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar’s Revenge (aka Dead Men Tell No Tales) (2017)directed by Joachim Rønning, Espen SandbergUS/Can release: May 26 2017UK/Ire release: May 25 2017 MPAA: rated PG-13 for sequences of adventure violence, và some suggestive contentBBFC: rated 12A (moderate fantasy kích hoạt violence)viewed in 2Dviewed at a semipublic screening with an audience of critics and ordinary moviegoersofficial site | IMDb | trailer more reviews:Movie review Query Engine | Rotten Tomatoes
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